Friday, 18 September 2015

PERSONAL: WOMANHOOD DEALING WITH LIFE CHANGES

I'm not one to share personal stories or issues, but I think it is very important in this instance because there needs to be more discussions on this subject.


I've been a little quiet on the blogging front of late.  I've had some personal issues and decisions to deal with that preoccupied my mind, pushing blogging as far away possible.

It has been several weeks and I am finally coming to terms and acceptance.  I've been given the news that I need to have a partial hysterectomy.  I'm only 40 years old and I was told that surgery is usually performed in women in their 50s and older. 

With my first surgery and diagnosis at 19, I thought I was cured.  Ignorant, yes.  Hopeful, yes.  

I've always suffered from excessive bleeding lasting up to 9 days with excruciating pain.  I used to miss school each month because my inability to walk due to pain, with symptoms like migraines, nausea, focal migraines, leg, back and vaginal cramping.  As the years went by you learn pain management, then it becomes part of your life and you accept it, thinking of it 'as normal'.

I was first diagnosed with Endometriosis at the age of 19.  I didn't understand the consequences or reason, I just accepted it.  I was told I had very little chance of falling pregnant if not at all.  I was ok with that because really, I wasn't interested in falling pregnant, let alone doing all that traditional stuff.  I had plans, I wanted to travel, be independent and live life!

I met my husband a few years later and I was very clear about my situation, thankfully he was OK with a future with no children.

With regular visits to the gynae, several curettes and experimenting with different types of pills and drugs to reduce the severity of pain and duration of my period as well as regular scans to monitor my uterus and ovaries nothing was improving the symptoms.

With the internet providing more knowledge of Endometriosis, I was able to be educate myself on my condition as well as finding ways to improve my quality of life including ways to minimise my pain.

I started by seeing an Endocrinologist.  It was the best thing I ever did.  Within 9 months of seeing her I fell pregnant with my son, who is now 8 years old.

I never went to my specialist to improve my chances of falling pregnant, far from it.  I needed answers and a possible solution to my condition.  She turned my life around, discovering I had a hormone imbalance and treating it made me have a whole new lease on life.  She didn't cure me, she acknowledged the problem, treated it and in turn minimised the symptoms.

Being pregnant definitely was a challenge.  With my mind mentally unprepared for it as well as my exciting plans for the future, I was struggling with my emotions as it was the first time in my life i didn't know what to do. Throughout the pregnancy I was excited, intrigued, angry, scared and confused until the day my son was born, my anxiety disappeared.

Fast forward to today, with continuous period pains (not as severe as my younger years) and menstruating every fortnight, I find that I am no longer resilient to constant pain and bleeding.  

So, last month I got the results of my latest scan, revealing I have Adenomyosis.  Leaving the Endometriosis clinic numb and feeling confused.  I went home and dealt with it the only way I know, researching Adenomyosis and take control and not allowing it to control me.

Adenomyosis is a condition in which the inner lining of the uterus (the endometrium) breaks through the muscle wall of the uterus. Causing menstrual cramps, lower abdominal pressure, and bloating before menstrual periods and can result in heavy periods. The condition can be located throughout the entire uterus or localised in one spot.  The older you get the worse the pain.

I consider myself quite lucky.  Even though I have gone through years of pain and bleeding and now about to lose my womanhood, I still have my general health and life. It's a condition you have to be positive about because it can eat you up with sadness. I don't like to dwell on sadness and I dislike the 'poor me' persona.  It may be a control issue, that's ok because you shouldn't let any type of illness to control you because you will never win.  It is always important to be positive.

2 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through something so difficult, but remember - a body part doesn't define you, you are who you say you are. Giving up a piece of yourself doesn't mean you lose yourself, but rather, strengthens the person you are. <3 My thoughts are with you during this time.

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  2. We're given obstacles in life and you seem to be able to jump these hurdles and become stronger from it. Although it is tough, you still are alive and being able to witness the beauty of life and not taking it for granted. Always thinking of you. DF xox

    www.doaner-fide.com

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